The kindest hearts have felt the most pain

I just keep inside and behind that smile there is pain and tears. I hide it so that no one can noticed that I’m in a sorrow. ~ Jo Bolinas

We don’t need to show and tell the world what is happening. For if we do, we rent sure if they will understand us. Better smile and tell the world we need to struggle and survive. The storms in our life will all shall pass. ~ Wenchelle Herzell

People never stop and wonder why someone else becomes distant or different when maybe all they need the other person to say is nothing but I will be here for you no matter what. ~ Amanda Kay

All the hard struggles make us stronger if you have faith to help pull you through. Amazing things can come from it all, but you must believe in that. ~ Carmen Leiva

chaz B quote

“Everyone has a given a chance to live life to the fullest, every moment and memories you make is your choice.”
― Chaz B

On Air Personality and Relationship Coach, Charles Bruce, also known as Chaz B has passed on.

Chaz B passed on at the early hours of Saturday, November 22.
Although, the cause of his death has not been confirmed, he had been battling with kidney issues and had a successful kidney transplant in 2012.
Chaz B was known for his popular talk show “Sharing Life Issues” which won him the Best On Air Personality award at the Nigeria Media Merit Awards in 2010.
The show is rated among the top shows on radio across Nigeria and credited with having positively impacted of the lives of listeners in various ways.
Fans, colleagues and celebrities have expressed their shock via Twitter.

When you look back on your Life When you look back on your Life

The hardships in life helps us grow as individuals, which in turn can help make the changes in our lives that are needed in order to become more confident and happy. ~ Camilla Petersen

Every painful event, every heartache is a milestone on the path of your personal development. If you know that one day you will see the positive reason behind this heartache, you can move through it without bringing with you all of the baggage that brought it into your life to begin with. ~ Blair Robinson

We are stronger than we think. One day at a time, one foot in front of the other. Take time to be grateful for something each day. I found this really helps even amid the ugliest of circumstances. ~ Tracey Dillon

Don’t give up. Surround yourself with positive people, it’s really contagious and it helps so much. It’s a start & life will change. You will start seeing it through new eyes. Hang in there. God Bless you. ~ Brigitte Nicole

Without confidence in ourselves. We suffer many hardships and without faith and trust in God, our lives are incomplete. ~ John Laramie

We live life to gain experience . From those experiences we must look back and remember the truths to acquire the wisdom from life’s events. If you receive this wisdom, one must be strong and courageous enough to become a leader and example for others to learn so they may achieve more in this short adventure we call life. From our sacrifices others may prosper. ~ Aaron Wiley

I also see joy, sound choices, wonder and awe. We are so much more than the result of hurts. It is great to see the positives that can come from the hurts, but don’t forget the blessings. ~ Erin Boyd

The people who are mad at you...

Lie gives temporary happiness but the truth gives permanent relaxation from the problem. ~ Anitha Totakura 

Truth is unequivocal reality that lies from the dismantling of lie. There is no such thing as absolute lie, but there is indeed an absolute truth.

Never let ignorant people talked you down. They just refuse to listen to the facts because they are afraid of hearing the truth, as that leads to changes. Need to be innovated, move forward, not regress to the past, the dark ages.

When you see someone living a lie that is hurting them and you try and tell them the truth about what they need to hear for there own good and it back fires and they get angry with you and causes a fight. It makes you question whether being honest is all worth it. Lot of people just want to hear what they want to hear. If someone is not ready for the truth they will not appreciate it. ~ Maxine Pepper 

Everyone believes truth is the way they see things. However, the folks who get mad at someone else for speaking their version of truth are those who don’t have full confidence in theirs. ~ Deepa Bhat

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PRESIDENT GOODLUCK JONATHAN!!!

On President Jonathan, As He Marks His 57th Birthday
President Goodluck Ebele Azikiwe Jonathan was born on November 20, 1957 in Finglas in Ogbia Local Government Area of the then Eastern Region, later Rivers State, and now, Bayelsa State to a family of canoe makers. Many Ethnic groups in Nigeria have a naming tradition where a child’s name "often expresses the parents' expectations for the child or the circumstances surrounding its birth". His father, Pa. Ebele Jonathan, said the name Goodluck came to him after his son was born when he "instinctively realized that this child was an element of fortune". He also gave him the name 'Azikiwe' the name of the first Executive President of Nigeria.
The young Jonathan attended St. Stephen's Primary School, and St. Michael's Primary School, both in Otuoke before proceeding to The Mater Dei High School, Imiringi for his primary and secondary education.
Jonathan attended the University of Port Harcourt where he graduated in 1981 with a Second Class Upper Division in Zoology. He continued his education at the same institution and obtained a Masters Degree (M.Sc.) in Hydrology and Fisheries Biology and thereafter a Doctorate Degree in Zoology.
He is married to Dame Patience Faka and they are blessed with two children, Aruabai Jonathan, a daughter and Ado Aruera Jonathan, a son.
Before his entry into politics in 1998, he worked both in the public and private sectors of the economy. Shortly after his secondary education in 1975, he worked with the Customs and Excise Department as a Preventive Officer up till 1977, when he gained admission into the University of Port Harcourt to study Zoology. On graduation, he taught in a secondary school for his one year mandatory National Youth Service in Iresi, (old Oyo State,) Osun State, South-West Nigeria. Thereafter, he took up a teaching appointment with the old Rivers State Civil Service Commission. He later worked as an Inspector of Science Education and thereafter moved to the Department of Biological Sciences at the Rivers State College of Education as a Lecturer.
In 1993, he was appointed Assistant Director (Ecology) of the defunct Oil Mineral Producing Area Development Commission (OMPADEC) in charge of Environmental Protection. He resigned his appointment to join partisan politics in 1998. He was Deputy Governor of Bayelsa State from May 29, 1999 until December 12, 2005 when he was sworn-in as Governor to replace Governor, D.S.P Alamieseigha. He became Vice-President of the country on May 29, 2007, then, Acting President on February 9, 2010 until the unfortunate demise of President Umaru Yar'Adua on May 5, 2010. He was sworn-in on May 6, 2010, as the President, Commander - in-Chief of the Armed Forces of Nigeria.
The President's tenure as Vice-President was distinguished through his negotiations with militants in the Niger Delta, under the Federal Government's Amnesty Programme. Many of the major militant groups have since laid down their weapons as pre-condition for the amnesty.
Dr. Jonathan is a member of several professional bodies including Fellow, Fisheries Society of Nigeria (FISON), Fellow, Public Administrators of Nigeria, Fellow, International Association of Impact Assessment; and Fellow, Nigeria Environmental Society.
Dr. Jonathan has received several local and international awards. He was voted the Best Performing Deputy Governor in 2002 by IPAN; was given 'Democracy and Good Governance award by the Nigeria Union of Journalists in 2004. The Africa International News magazine league conferred on him the 'Niger Delta Development Award'; the Nigerian Bar Association, gave him the 'Distinguished Personality' Award in 2006 and the All African Students Union in South Africa, gave him the 'Africa Leadership Award, 2006. The Nigerian Union of Teachers voted him the 'Best Performing Governor in Education in the South-South' in 2006. He was also recognized by the International Federation for World Peace (IFWP) in 2006 with 'Ambassador for Peace Merit Award' as well as the Leadership and Good Governance Merit.
On January 14, 2011, President Jonathan was overwhelmingly elected as the Presidential flag-bearer of the People's Democratic Party for the 2011 Presidential election by 77.7% of votes cast by his party members.
Join Me To Celebrate Nigeria's No.1 Citizen.

WHEN YOU REALLY LOVE SOMEONE...

A true man loves you for who you are inside, he/she doesn’t care how you look on the outside.

Those numbers don’t have to count if you have a strong relationship. Look at how many military families do it when there loved ones are gone. I have been there and the miles made us stronger because after being away from me (as a friend) for a long time we are finally working on being more, but he was still there when I needed him and the same for me. I can tell you that the man in my life is very supportive of me (I do not have the looks of a model or anything like that but I am not overweight either).

He is a little over 2 years older then me. But when I tell him that I look “fat” or anything along those line he comes right back with “no you’re not” and if I proceed to push it with him (on one of my pms days) and ask him “why” he says that he replies “because your not fat and I Love you the way you are”. So yes I believe that weight doesn’t matter if the man truly loves you. ~super

IF YOU EXPECT THE WORLD TO BE FAIR TO YOU

In all essence it doesn’t mean you have to compromise your ethics or moral grounds because of people. It just means that simply because you are good doesn’t mean everyone else is. You might do good but find that you do not get good at the end. ~ Dominica Dhlamini 

I was bashed by people I helped and showed love to, I thought they would respect me because I did good for them putting food in there mouths and some

where to rest there head but no as soon as they had a bad day they too it out on me. ~ Wayne John

We still live in this world of good and bad. Not everyone will treat you the way you want them to treat you. No matter how good you treat them and no matter how much you care, some people won’t care back. Not everyone one is going to appreciate your kindness. You just have to find those who are worth your kindness. ~ Jay Janice

The Burden of My Being

I have just learnt that for one with a Nigerian passport, getting a visa into Kenya is like drawing teeth. It is excruciating. It is long.
“We will have to refer your visa request to Nairobi, Madam. It will take around six weeks before we get a response. And even then we can’t assure you that you’ll get a visa.” The receptionist’s voice at the Kenyan embassy on Winston Churchillstraat in Brussels is polite. Calm. Almost bored. She might have been filing her nails. I do not have six weeks to wait for a visa application that may or may not be granted. I have to be in Kenya at the beginning of March for the Caine Writing Workshop. It will be my first time in East Africa and I do not intend to miss it.

“And if I had an EU passport? A Belgian passport?” I try. I really want to make this workshop. It will be a chance to see Kenya. To visit with my sister-in-law and her family in Kisumu. To meet up with old friends. To make some new ones. And to work on my writing.
The almost-bored voice rises. It is like a volume switch has been turned up several notches .
 “Do you have a Belgian passport?” I imagine her discarding the nail file and holding the ear piece closer to her ear, all the better to hear me with. I have her full attention. “You have a Belgian passport?” She asks again. I wonder if she thinks I am slightly deaf.
“Yes.” My voice is flat. My heart is weighed down by guilt. Guilt because I am already wondering if I am selling out by resorting to my EU passport. I already feel like a sellout when I am in between braids. And as far as I am concerned, this is worse than having your hair chemically stretched and in a pony tail. I mean, I have seen blue-eyed, blonde-haired women in braids.
“Then madam, your visa application will only take twenty-four hours to process. When do you intend to travel?”
” February,” I reply. My voice is low. Subdued by the guilt that is ravaging my insides like acid on paper.
“You have got loads of time, then. It would have been a different matter with your Nigerian passport.” She manages a laugh. Amused, I think, by the fact I would think of traveling with a Nigerian passport when I had a Belgian one. I imagine that she expects me to join in the laughter. I remain silent. Her laughter tapers out and I ask myself if I have embarrassed her by my silence. She tells me what to bring along to the embassy. A passport picture. Forty Euro. A return ticket or a letter of invitation from the Caine Organization. “Your visa should be ready for you to pick up the day after you apply, Madam.”
I am relieved that I will make the workshop after all. But there is a bitter aftertaste in the wake of my relief. It is as if I have chewed on ugolo, bitter-kola. I remember the first time I ate ugolo. I blocked out the taste while I chewed, as I had been advised to by veteran eaters. But once I swallowed it, its bitterness rose from deep down my throat and clouded my mouth. It was like nothing I had ever eaten. It was more acrid than I had thought possible for anything to be. I could no longer ignore it. Or pretend like it was not there. That is the same way I feel now. I do not want to enter Africa as a naturalized European. I am almost angry. Why should I be forced to enter Kenya with a Belgian passport? I resent it and I am almost tempted to go ahead and apply for a visa with my Nigerian passport. But I know I do not have the luxury of that choice. Six weeks is too long to wait. And what if it gets turned down? I know I will have to swallow my pride. This time. I try to feel grateful that I have an alternative nationality. The way I feel when I vote to keep the extreme right out of power. The way I felt when I ran for council elections in 2000. However, that gratitude is reluctant to surface this time. It is stubborn. It refuses to be dredged up.
All day, the same question keeps turning in my head. It multiplies and takes on varying forms, but in essence, it remains the same: “How are the mighty fallen?” I have always known that Nigeria has lost its place on the ladder. We all know that. Yet, I have to admit that I never realized how far down we were.
Maybe I have been an ostrich, I think, hiding my head in the sand. Refusing to see what is obvious: the way my Nigerian passport is thumbed and closely examined by immigration officials. The snickers when I say I am Nigerian. The jokes about 419 scams. Recent fiction coming out of the rest of Africa where characters are warned to steer clear of Nigerians. Strange, middle-aged, white women coming up to me at readings to tell me they have got Nigerian daughters-in-law, schoondochters, who want to go on vacation to Nigeria with their children and is it safe? What with the problems in the Delta region. And from what they hear, the lack of drinking water. And lack of proper healthcare. And lack of gas. And oh, let us not forget the robberies.
I have got sand in my eyes. The more I rid my eyes of the sand, the clearer my vision is. And the clearer my vision is, the more unbearable the burden of my being becomes.

when some one hurts you...

Those who hurt us is all about what that person is going through, and what battle they are having internally both in the mind and in their heart. ~ Wanda Arroyo 

Maturity is accepting full responsibility for my actions/behavior and not blame others for my choices that have formed my reality. ~ Mary Davison 

You know an understanding doesn’t necessarily have to be with the offender. It can be one with yourself, that their situation is that your relationship is just not worth the drama of hurting them back. 

The wisdom of maturity, sets you free from the need to react. Accepting
that when someone hurts you, they do not have the power to hurt you, you choose to feel hurt. Their bad behaviour is their issue to solve. ~ Caitriona Doran 

You don’t have to hurt back because I have seen it so many times that what comes around also goes around right back to them. ~ Barbara Prete 

Maturity doesn’t mean to have to continue to bend over backwards for those who are so selfish that continue to take and hurt. This time I choose to forgive without an apology but I also choose to move on and let go. ~ Saireva Jakob 

When you try to understand why you feel hurt before you blame someone else for your feeling to understand if they really abused you (physically, sexually, psychologically, socially, etc.) or if you are just being jealous, prejudice, demanding something unreasonable, not respecting their boundaries or right to say no, etc. or even misinterpreting the situation. ~ Mari Cammarata

Your presence & absence both mean something to someone

Your presence & absence both mean something to someone Absence makes the heart grow fonder and presence makes it more stronger. If you care about someone you need to let them know. People cannot read minds. If you don’t they just might leave to find someone who will let them know they mean something and the only person you’ll be able to blame is yourself. ~ Dee Cutrell It is all about caring, to be with that one person who gives happiness is amazing and to be separated from that person is good to know that you wait for the day when you can be together again. Both presence and absence mean something special to those two people. ~ Margaret Perry The absence of my love makes me think of her every day. I just hope that my absence makes her think of me from time to time. I miss her more each and every day
. ~ Philip Marsh Absence makes the heart grow fonder and presence makes it more stronger. If you care about someone you need to let them know. People cannot read minds. If you don’t they just might leave to find someone who will let them know they mean something and the only person you’ll be able to blame is yourself. ~ Dee Cutrell It is all about caring, to be with that one person who gives happiness is amazing and to be separated from that person is good to know that you wait for the day when you can be together again. Both presence and absence mean something special to those two people. ~ Margaret Perry The absence of my love makes me think of her every day. I just hope that my absence makes her think of me from time to time. I miss her more each and every day. ~ Philip Marsh Absence makes the heart grow fonder and presence makes it more stronger. If you care about someone you need to let them know. People cannot read minds. If you don’t they just might leave to find someone who will let them know they mean something and the only person you’ll be able to blame is yourself. ~ Dee Cutrell It is all about caring, to be with that one person who gives happiness is amazing and to be separated from that person is good to know that you wait for the day when you can be together again. Both presence and absence mean something special to those two people. ~ Margaret Perry The absence of my love makes me think of her every day. I just hope that my absence makes her think of me from time to time. I miss her more each and every day. ~ Philip Marsh

Do one thing that makes you happy everyday

Do one thing that makes you happy everyday. If you are not happy with yourself, you are never going to be happy with someone else. If it makes you happy is one thing ‘Go for it’. However, if pleasing others is to the neglect of the self or ‘fear’ (worry) how others perceive or judge (to me) is not living in your truth, but trying to measure to other people’s standards. It isn’t from a place of love, but fear/worry and suppresses the spirit. ~ Elizabeth Biroscak No one will look after you, but you. Be happy! Life is too short. It has taken me a while to realize that, but I have learned a lot of hard knocks of life and no one was there for me. ~ Claire Cook The problem is knowing who you really are true friends. There are those who just want to take advantage of any situation or those who are always willing to help and hear us in difficult moments.
Like who you like and considers you a friend, others just ignore it. Life is too short. We are here for a good time, not a long time. Enjoy the moment, keep it positive, keep good company and keep it moving. ~ Alonzo Marquez Life has made me real. Used to try to please everyone else, then I woke up to the importance of being at peace with myself. ~ Diane Costa

BORN TO BE ME.....

I Was Born To Be Me I was born to be me, not a copy of you. Be your parent or teacher or friend Be your husband or wife, I was given this life And it’s mine to create till the end. Too many people have tried to diminish my pride By claiming all pride is a sin But the fact of my worth was established at birth At the time I was born to be me. I was born to be me, but I’ve learned in a lifetime. I never will make it alone I’ve too much of myself needs the giving of others The parts I can’t see till I’m shown. So then come touch me inside Take the measure of this pride Set me free from whatever unreal. Oh there’s a life to be won And I’ve barely begun To insist I was born to be me.

THE POWER OF COMLIMENTS......

Sincere compliment and kind words spoken at the right time are healing to the bones. Sometimes people mistaken it by you have an ulterior motive, so maybe if they are feeling down or quiet you approached them then it might be the right moment to say so, then again just say it, you won’t lose anything. Compliment is sometimes all it takes to make other peoples day even better or the best day. Even a warm smile can make someone’s day. A genuine compliment feels real good. To be sincere and coming from your heart, say something nice to someone. You can tell them how you feel about them or say something wonderful about their personality, skills, or beauty. Sometimes when someone hears that you care, it can make them feel appreciated and it can brighten up their day. Kindness benefits both the receiver and giver. Why wouldn’t anyone not want to feel good?

Missing Nigerian schoolgirls 'married off'

Africa Missing Nigerian schoolgirls 'married off' Boko Haram chief denies ceasefire claim and says kidnapped schoolgirls have converted to Islam and married. The abductions sparked global anger and demands for their release [AP]

Boko Haram's leader, Abubakar Shekau, has said the 219 schoolgirls kidnapped from the remote town of Chibok in Nigeria's northeast in April have converted to Islam and been married off. Shekau made the remarks in a video obtained by the AFP news agency on Friday. "Don't you know the over 200 Chibok schoolgirls have converted to Islam? They have now memorised two chapters of the Koran," he said. "We have married them off. They are in their marital homes," he added. In a previous statement the group's leader threatened to sell the girls as slave brides and also suggested that he would be prepared to release them in exchange for Boko Haram prisoners. Ceasefire claims denied Shekau also said the group was holding a German national and denied they had agreed to a ceasefire, describing the Nigerian government statement as a lie. He also appeareed to rule out future talks. The video comes after a surprise Nigerian military and presidency announcement on October 17 that a peace deal had been reached with the group. A senior presidential aide to President Goodluck Jonathan also said that an agreement had been reached to free the schoolgirls, whose abduction sparked a global campaign for their release. No end in sight: Boko Haram's bloody legacy There was immediate scepticism about both claims because of previous assertions of ceasefires and the identity of the purported Boko Haram envoy at the supposed talks, Danladi Ahmadu. Fresh attacks Violence and fresh kidnappings have continued unabated since the announcement, including a triple bombing of a bus station in the northern city of Gombe on Friday that killed at least eight. Nigeria's government maintains that talks are on-going in the Chadian capital, Ndjamena. But Shekau, dressed in military fatigues and boots with a black turban, and flanked by 15 armed fighters, said: "We have not made ceasefire with anyone..." "We did not negotiate with anyone... It's a lie. It's a lie. We will not negotiate. What is our business with negotiation? Allah said we should not." He also said he did not know Danladi. There was no indication of when or where the video was shot but it was obtained through the same channels as previous communications from the group. The New York-based Human Rights Watch said in a report this week that Boko Haram was holding upwards of 500 women and young girls and that forced marriage was commonplace in the group's camps.