I’d naturally get steeped in doubt, even as I know God requires that I do. Not. Doubt. Does doubt nullify my faith? Do I get a chance at getting what I believe for if…if my heart falters for just a split second?
His command is that I be anxious for nothing. Sadly, I remember this scripture in 6-month cycles, after 6 months of worry, and despair, and doubt, and weeks of second-guessing God, and seeking 12 opinions from 12 different people, half of which end up saying “you need to go to God to show you,” to which my head responds, “if God had shown me you think I’ll be talking to you?”
Faith is born of my ignorance about the grand plan. Well, doubt too. But faith is ignorant me trusting in the one who owns the grand plan. Believing, hoping, following, knowing that I am little…
My acknowledgement of my littleness does not mean I doubt that I have been made in the image of God, and therefore am a god. It is me agreeing that a grand scheme of things exists, and that I have absolutely no power in myself to make the slightest difference in that scheme.
Will all I want, worry all I want, but if he doesn’t say stop, the situation doesn’t. And that is why what he desires most is what I totally seek, because when my screaming STOP! aligns with his will, he moves heaven to make sure stop is enforced.
Faith is the ability to take one step at a time, totally assured that God holds my hands. Faith is to not see the full picture, but to trust still. Faith is to not have all the answers, but to not question the only one who can provide them. Faith is to not ask how, when, or why. Faith is to know that help will come, regardless.
Faith is to trust God will prove himself. But does he need to? He is God. And that, unfortunately, is already proven.
So, eventually, I got a few more thoughts scraped up to make a sequel to a first part you could read up right here I’d love that you share your thoughts after you’re done reading. Here goes…
1. It’s amazing when two hearts meet each other half way. Amazing is bliss. Amazing means that smile is shared. Amazing is vulnerable. Amazing is a risk. Amazing is questions only amazing can answer. Amazing means that cuts go deeper…yet isn’t amazing all that there is to hope for?
2. I like that I’m friends with the people I’m friends with. I like that I can share and laugh and be cynical. I like that they see my weak places, point them out, and still hang with me regardless. I like that heaven has blessed me with some of her best people.
3. Stones you’d pick off the street; any street. Diamonds you’d get at a premium; select locations. A woman is either stones or diamonds or the things in-between. First you decide what her worth is, and then you choose if you’d pay what that worth is. Men kill for diamonds…
4. We meet, we like, we converse. We smile, we share, we pray. We laugh, we play, we fight. We grow, we dream. We hurt, we heal. We learn us. We say “I do.” Then there’s rooms with bare us.
5. Love is ups. Love is downs. Love is faith. Love is doubts. Love releases you, not binds you. Love grows you, love defines you. Life is ups, life is downs, life is faith. To live is to dare. To live is to give. To live is to love.
